The userpic is a rose that used to grow in the garden of the townhouse.

Cons are such a mixed blessing.

Yesterday I made it to Boston with minimal trouble. A little black ice on my driveway, and I got lost finding my way to the Daily Parking at IAD. Still made it to the gate 2 hours early. Decided at the last minute to take advantage of pre-boarding because I can't lift my left arm above my head, and am SO grateful that I did. Will do the same on the way back. It is worth the nasty looks from people who think I shouldn't be doing so because I don't look sick.

Faeryn caught up with me at the airport and escorted me to the home where she is living/working. We had time to catch up a bit, though I was pretty foggy from the journey and wasn't as communicative as would have been nice. F. provided me with a bag of thoughtful valentine goodies. Got to meet the family and get lots of baby cuddle-time. Little H. is adorable, and I enjoyed getting to chat with his parents too (I know they won't mind too much that my attention was focused mostly on him). I did have to reassure them that I had no desire to kidnap Baby even though I was dearly enjoying cuddling him - I want no more teens!

Eventually F's new local boyfriend, Jimmy, showed up and went with us to the con.

We explored the dealers room a bit and met a few people before registering for the con, and eventually Mary Anne found and kidnapped me for dinner, which was the highlight of my evening. I caught up with F. and J. in time to get in trouble for saying too much and to say goodnight to them before they went elsewhere for a bit. Early to bed for me, though not early to sleep. I woke in time to watch part of the sunrise from my room, then came down to the lobby to find internet access since I couldn't get connected there. Now I am trying to figure out what I want to do next.

Cons are a very mixed blessing. I love seeing people and collecting hugs, and I feel guilty that I don't reach out to any of these people in between cons. Most of them don't know or understand that by the time I can force myself to make that phone call to reach out, I am pretty much at the end of my rope and hanging on for dear life. I love the feeling of being cared for and somehow connected again. I feel closer to Greg. And I miss him more than ever. I see people we know, and turn to point them out to him. I saw Louis McMaster Bujold yesterday and wished desperately that he was there to meet her. I'm still considering getting her to autograph one of her books for him, silly as it sounds. I've greeted a few people who only know me as Greg's wife (which is perfectly fine with me). How many times did I go to cons with him, and just lean against him as I listened to him talk to people whose names I couldn't quite remember? I'm already overwhelmed and ready to go home, and there are still so many people I want to see and hug. I'm at the point this morning, though, where I'm already breaking into tears for no real reason.

I think it is time for water and Ibuprofen and to either wander the galleria a bit or go back up to my room and cool down a bit (the public areas of the hotel are grossly overheated - I'm sweating in a light-weight t-shirt!

Will try to keep up with LJ and FB, but with the limited connectivity available, I may miss something, so please drop me a note here if there is something you'd like me to know about or comment on.

Boskone

Jan. 16th, 2010 08:52 pm
thekyttn: (blank)
I have purchased tickets and reserved a room for February 12-14 for Boskone. It is a simple room with 2 beds. Faeryn may be spending one or both nights with me, but can share my bed. Anyone interested in a room share/possession of the other bed? I won't have a great deal of luggage and I don't think either of us snore. Don't know if it would make a difference to a possible room-mate, but I will be in and out of the room a great deal as I tend to get overwhelmed by people/emotions pretty easily and will escape to the room when that happens. I'm not at all adverse to small gatherings in the room if you need practice space, as long as I'm allowed to listen :).
Had made tentative plans to go to listen to some music with my son this evening, but lay down to nap/rest my aching head, and woke feeling to tired to do anything.

*******************

Fell asleep again before finishing this entry, so I guess staying home was a good idea. I've managed to move from livingroom to bedroom, switched a load of laundry from washer to dryer in between, and am now ready for sleep again. Must figure out what I'm taking to the DownTown Station to work on tomorrow evening. Only 4 hours there, but I'm told it will be likely to be quite quiet.

I've officially asked for June 19th off of work, and will be "banking" the extra hours I work tomorrow and Saturday toward that. I've got enough money from birthday money and jewelry sales that I can afford the Boston trip, if I can get remotely reasonable flights. I'm hoping to fly out Thursday night and return Sunday night. It is very unlikely that Faeryn will be coming with me, so I may be looking for a room-mate. I also may just take a room by myself and offer access to it to any of my local-to-Boston friends who will be attending the con but staying at home and who may need a break during the day (maybe a cat and wolf pair who would be more able to attend the con if there was a room available to let children nap during the day? It would only cost an extra hug or two, or maybe a song....).

Feeling odd tonight. Sad, but more resigned, though I feel like I'm walking on a very narrow bridge over a gaping pit, and that at any minute I'm going to fall in. I've been nicely distracted for the last 30 minutes by listening to Meeting at Corvalis on MP3 CD. I'm going to have to purchase the series; I can tell it is one I will listen to repeatedly. Must mail Dies the Fire and The Protector's War to Scott this weekend.

*sigh* bedtime. As long as tomorrow is going to be, at least I'll be around people for a good part of the day, and Saturday I get to spend some time at the bookstore and maybe give in and buy the new Charlaine Harris book if I have spare funds left after purchasing airline tickets.

Or, maybe just reading it in the car after my shift ends :)
While I knew it was going to be hard going to Balticon, I didn't realize how hard. I didn't get to the hotel until late Saturday, and was dead tired. I slept for half an hour before going to the con hotel (I was in another hotel across the highway). I watched some medieval dancing, which was fun, talked briefly with [livejournal.com profile] starmalachite and went out to dinner with [livejournal.com profile] ccrazy and friends (who make incredibly lovely chain-mail jewelry) which was nice, though Steak and Ale is another place that doesn't know how to make a steak medium well without making it either bloody or dry. After dinner I hung around outside the masquerade area, hoping to see Persis and watching the various people. Then I went to open filk, and did ok until a lovely group of young women sang a song about having time. I managed not to burst into tears in filk room, but went and cried in the ladies room for 15 minutes before pulling myself together enough to say goodnight to a couple of people and to go back to my hotel. Then I was lucky enough to talk to [livejournal.com profile] mdyesowitch who, in spite of our somewhat depressing conversation, still made me feel better, and helped me find my phone, which I'd dropped at the con hotel. I was asleep less than an hour after going to bed.

I was incredibly depressed when I got up in the morning, but showered and ate breakfast and made it to the con hotel by 8:45. I hung around and crocheted while waiting for a "bead workshop" which turned out to be for kids. So I went and glanced at pretties in the dealers' room (did not buy anything), then returned for the children's concert. Gorgeous Gary, Decadent Dave, Stone Dragon (Tom and Sue Jeffers) and Urban Tapestry did a wonderful job, of course. I lost it a little during the Hockey Monkey song (Greg always wished someone would send us off from a con with it one day, it was one of his favorite songs) and when I heard Dave singing, I couldn't help crying. Dave's voice reminds me of comfort and security and love, all of which feel like they are lacking in my life right now (not to say that the love of my friends doesn't count, but it is different). I don't think I'll ever hear Dave's voice without thining of Greg holding me while we listened to "45 Years" or Greg laughing at me trying to get up the courage to ask Dave to sing "Highwayman". His voice reminds me of the tone of Greg's when we used to talk late at night on the phone when we were dating, or snuggled together talking about worries.

After the concert I had a lovely brunch with UT, which was incredibly neat. I even managed to forget pretty quickly that they are Urban Tapestry but to think of them as neat individuals. I'm grateful to be getting past the fan-girl silliness that used to make me afraid to talk to them. Now if I could get past that with a couple more people, I'd be in good shape. Then I got to sit with France, Tom and Sue, Dave and Debbie's friend Walter and catch up a little with France. Dave asked me if I was going to be around for his concert and if so what I'd like to hear, and I did at least manage to tell him the truth about my not being able to listen to him much right now. ANyone who knows me knows how much I worship Dave Clement, so you'll know it was really hard for me to a) tell him the truth, b) even talk to him much. I asked him for hugs, and did not burst into tears when I got the best hug I've gotten since I lost Greg. I had to let go before I wanted to so I wouldn't disgrace myself. I didn't cry a lot during the conversations, just a little, and I'm pretty proud of that. I collected hugs from Tom and Sue and France, and part of me still is stunned that I got to hang out with such illustrious people and that they care for me so much.

Finally before I left, I caught up with Persis and Badger, and got to spend a little time with each of them. I did go home feeling less alone than I did when I went to the con, though I still feel like I am not going to be going to another one soon, no matter how much I long for friends. I may change my mind by Contata, of course, but right now that doesn't look affordable anyway.

All in all I am mostly glad I went. This morning felt much better than last night. Hugs are good, I miss getting them. There aren't a lot of huggy people around here, and fewer friends to ask for them from.

The cats are mostly glad I am back, I think. They are certainly glad that I went out and got canned food for them (they'd run out completely, having had to split a 3 oz can between last night and this morning, when usually they split a 3 oz can for one meal). I also found a cat-tree for them, which I think they like, but which I need to find a) a good location for and b) decide if we need a second one because the price was very right.

Now I think I'm going to lie down a bit, maybe read a little, then sleep.

Goodnight all.

Baltimore

May. 24th, 2008 03:11 pm
Made it to the hotel. Falling down now for an hour. So very sleepy!

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thekyttn

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