The new therapist is a significant improvement already over the others I've tried so far. The hour flew by, and I was able to tell her a significant amount about myself and my situation, including some of the information about my relationship with my parents. When I told her that I don't expect an immediate cure, but looking for help coping and getting to the point where I don't have to spend every evening reminding myself of my promises not to do something stupid in order to make it through to bedtime. Her reaction to that statement was not to threaten me with inpatient care (which would be a problem only because I'd end up losing one if not both jobs), but to say that she thought therapy could help with that. Our expectation is not to take away the grief and pain, but to get me more functional and able to handle the grief and pain. I have appointments every week between now and the end of the year, which is reassuring.

I had to take Greg's car into the shop today, and Faeryn picked me up and brought me home. she ended up staying home with me, we even kind of ate dinner together, which was very pleasant. It was a low key evening, just some chatting and generally hanging out together, then she went to bed and I took a long hot shower. Having her in the house was exactly what I needed after therapy. After the shower, I got a call from a friend, and spent time talking briefly about some of the stuff going on in her life before I hijacked the conversation and made it all about me - oops! Luckily, she didn't mind too much, and I had a genuine smile on my face when I got off the phone a few minutes ago.

Now I'm ready for bed, and to get up way too early tomorrow for Faeryn to take me to work. It works well for me to go in early tomorrow because I've got to leave early for the endocrinology appointment. With any luck our car will get fixed tomorrow and I'll be able to go pick it up immediately after my appointment (the office is about 2 blocks away from the mechanic).

Goodnight all.



October 2015

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