Jul. 19th, 2008

Usually I have to fight for my space on the bed, or lie diagonally or in odd shapes to be allowed to sleep because there are cats where my feet should be, or a cat on my pillow.

Tonight, of course, when I desperately need the comfort of a cat so I feel a little less alone, neither cat will come into my bedroom. I've gone and hunted them out twice now, but everytime I head back to my room, they go to Faeryn.

Wait - Snuggles has decided to make a liar out of me and come to bed after all. Of course, he wants my pillow.

Good night.
Sometimes in my dreams he comes to me, and it isn't sad, but comforting. When he holds me, when I touch his face, I can feel his warmth, but I know it isn't real, I know he'll be gone when I wake and yet I'm comforted by his presence. The ache doesn't return until the morning when I wake completely and I don't know when he'll be back. I could take life a great deal easier if I knew, at least, that I'd see him every night or even every few nights. We don't really talk in these dreams, as if we know that talking about any of it will make him disappear. There is just this knowledge that I must enjoy my time with him while I can.

Of course, if I saw him every night, I'd probably never do anything but sleep.

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thekyttn

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